My Daughter

"She grew up on the side of the road

Where the church bells ring

And strong love grows

She grew up good

She grew up slow

Like American honey

Steady as a preacher

Free as a weed

Couldn't wait to get going

But wasn't quite ready to leave

So innocent, pure and sweet

American honey"

-Lady Antebellum, "American Honey"

When I first heard the lyrics of this song, I thought of my daughter. Mind you, if you're reading this, please don't think that I'm using rose-colored glasses when it comes to my children because I don't. These lyrics literally describes my daughter to a T. 

I'm writing this blog as the clock ticks towards midnight that will officially announce that my daughter is 23 years old.

 

I had her at 19 and we praise & thank God blessed us with a daughter who is the complete opposite of her parents. 

She gave her heart to the Lord at the age of 7. She willingly participated in church activities (still does). She self-motivated herself in school, graduating summa cum laude and earning a scholarship to attend a business college. And she still had the time to boss around her brothers. 

Today, she still continues to be involved in church ministries and I know she has a deep love in teaching and guiding young girls to be Christian women.

She's a working gal now!

And is a great aunt to her nephew

Through all these accomplishments and growing into a beautiful, young adult. I know it is not easy because I know it grates on you on how people will continually remark on how good you are that seems as if there is an underlying expectancy for you to maintain a high standard. 

Krys, my prayer for your 23rd birthday is that God will quiet your soul because the twenties is trying to find your identity yet many have fallen because they've run way ahead of God not waiting for His timing or allowing Him to unfold His plans for them.

I also want to encourage you as you read this blog post to stand strong and give your dreams to God. Allow Him to determine your steps on where you should go and how you will grow. 

I love you...don't ever change for the world

"Gotta hold on easy as I let you go.

Gonna tell you how much I love you, though you think you already know.

I remember I thought you looked like an angel wrapped in pink so soft and warm.

You've had me wrapped around your finger since the day you were born.

You're beautiful baby from the outside in.

Chase your dreams but always know the road that'll lead you home again.

Go on, take on this whole world.

But to me you know you'll always be, my little girl." -Tim McGraw, My Little Girl

An inside look of a Christian parent to a young adult

You have that one child who for some odd reason can't stand you anymore.

You feel it in the way they talk and their actions

You stand there and look at them and wonder...what have I done to you that makes you hate us?

You try to talk with them while they shrug their shoulders and mumble nothing yet their stance is full of suppressed irritation making you feel as if you are in the wrong

A whole myriad of emotions goes through you from wanting to cry to wanting to slap them across their face to yell and say, "Who do you think you are? I gave BIRTH TO YOU! I provided THIS! I provided THAT! I tried my BEST! I brought you to SUNDAY SCHOOL! I brought you to YOUTH! and yet you stand here making me feel as if I am the worse parent in the world while I have always tried to protect you and support you."

You begin to start second guessing yourself and wonder about your parenting skill until a sense of calm washes over you with a gentle voice saying, "That's exactly what you did wrong, you have stood time and time again for your child when you should have let them fall to learn to rise up and stand on their own."

Your heart breaks...

You stare off in the distance and struggle with the inner turmoil of "If I let them fall on their own, what will happen? Will they resent us (but your child resents you already)? Will they die in their backslidden condition?"

God certainly knows what we (you) are going through. After all, we were wayward kids to Him once.

I don't know what to say at this point because I'm angry, offended, hurt, sad...

And through these emotions and struggles, my husband texted me,

"We'll get through this"

I have a grandson

And he is so precious to me....

From the first time the news was given to now, my love has grown steadily for this little man.

Unexpected blessings gives unexpected joys that provides you a glimpse of God's love for us.

The overwhelming feeling of first seeing your grandchild catches your breath and brings tears to your eyes because who would have ever fathomed that this love goes over and beyond?

When you give birth to your own child, you already love them especially because you've been carrying them close to your heart for nine months.

But, wow...meeting your grandchild for the first time especially if you were given the privilege of being allowed to witness the birth is simply amazing.

Words cannot describe the moment...

Words cannot describe the first time you get to hold him in your arms...

Prayers are immediately uplifted for the parents to protect and guide them as they raise up their child...YOUR grandchild...

Prayers are immediately lifted for the family on both sides that we all remain strong and in unity as we guide and direct your grandchild's parents...encouraging and assisting in any way possible...

This is what love is all about...this is what overflowing blessings are....

Your grandchild...my grandson...

Kal-El Kali'i Okeakuaka'ulunakanawai Yoro Alvardo

Parental Agonies of a Prodigal Son

So, I want to be melodramatic while lying half on the couch with my arm over my forehead weeping big tears and crying very ugly. But, I am pretty sure my friend will be inspired to draw a picture of me and put a very great Scripture underneath.

Some people will wonder why am I airing out dirty laundry? If you believe so, then stop reading because I love blogging and this is my way to vent. I pretty much talk in my car by myself to God but also...I love writing.

Okay, enough...onto the agonies of a prodigal son.

My older son has deemed himself old enough to make decisions for himself. As parents who have tried to raise their kids to the best of their abilities according to God's ways, we tend to turn to panic mode (well, I do) and fear...

"My son will die in his sin if he doesn't repent and give his life over to God."

There...that's my fear. My son will die in his sin of forsaking God to live according to the ways of the world.

Just writing it makes me want to beat my chest and weep really bad because how can you just stand by and watch your son fade away?

But, as I write this...I know that my son is a child of God. God is a better parent than I am because He has patience that I don't have. He has a merciful heart while I have a the rod of lightning wanting to strike him in the head when I hear him say "I don't want anything to do with you guys, I'm tired of you guys."

This brings to mind the movie "Parenthood" when the mom is running after her daughter who is running away with her boyfriend (Keanu Reeves). She's witching and yelling at her daughter then as her daughter drives away she stops and yells "call me! I love you..." and walks away dejectedly back in the house.

There are times when I think I am going bipolar because I think too much. I overanalyze alot of things and worry. My husband told me "don't think so much, God has everything in control."

This past weekend, my sister sent me a picture of my kids. It was during a time when our family was going through a major trial. I looked at Krystyn and said "We really put all through alot but you guys stood strong. Thank you."

As I write that paragraph, the deliberate tauntings of my son's girlfriend plays in my ear and I shake my head.

Each parent differs and will accept what they want and how they want. They are even willing to compromise.

But, this is where Dan and I stands..we stand on the Word of God...you cannot compromise the Word of God to fit the ways of the world. That's watering down His Word and it will not be effective because there will be no conviction to the heart to become a better child of God.

Nevertheless, it is interesting how your own child will try to apply what he has learned in Sunday School, Royal Rangers, Youth Ministry to justify his actions and condemn our own by using the following phrases...

"You have no right to judge me..." Is standing firm on the Word of God judgement? No, we're stating fact not condemning you to hell.

"We didn't need your approval then nor do we need it now." You're right...you don't need approval from me nor do you answer to me. You'll answer to God. Again, is that judgement? No, it's a fact for believers in Christ.

I am pretty sure people will say "Oh Malia...you need to lighten up. They're still young and you remember how you were right?"

You're right...but that doesn't give our kids the right to make the same mistakes we do especially when we've been transparent to them enough to say "don't be stupid like we were."

When it comes down to it...God blessed us with choices. And as a parent of children who are now young adults...we are in the learning phase of letting go and letting God take care of our children as they make choices that are either according to God's ways or the ways of the world.

Should we give up and say "okay, we'll compromise with you two."

No, because as this was thrown into my face of "we don't answer to you" applies to me. I don't answer to them nor do I seek their acceptance because I will answer to God as well....


"But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve...But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.” Joshua 24:15 NIV